


cady heron did Not understand high school

by hoeratio



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: BUT mean lesbian rights!!, F/F, POV Outsider, and the plot would be irrelevant if, basically janis just likes to mess with people, i don't even really like mean girls, regina got over her internalized homophobia early on, yes that Is a jennifer’s body reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23970982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoeratio/pseuds/hoeratio
Summary: “Regina George is flawless.”“She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.”“I hear her hair’s insured for $10,000.”“She and Janis Ian are totally lesbi-gay for each other, and she still won Spring Fling Queen. She’s that hot.”
Relationships: Regina George/Janis Ian, Regina George/Janis Sarkisian
Comments: 6
Kudos: 102





	cady heron did Not understand high school

“Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you can have her give me a call as soon as she can. It’s urgent. Thank you,” Regina said to her phone in a business-like manner, and Cady watched as she hung up with a smirk. “She’s not going out with anyone.”

Gretchen gazed at her in awe. “Okay, that was so fetch.”

Janis was so wrong about Regina. Sure, she was a little intimidating, but she stood up for her friends, and isn’t that what mattered? Cady didn’t really get why she called her a “scum-sucking road whore” (and she definitely didn’t know why Damien rolled his eyes so hard that it looked like he got a headache when she did), but she supposed that she still had a lot to learn about high school. 

She looked up, and like magic, Janis, in some sort of uniform, was turning the corner and walking towards the mall fountain. (Maybe Regina was right about Janis being some sort of goth witch). She didn’t notice Cady or Regina, Karen, and Gretchen and was about to pass by before Regina narrowed her eyes at her. Cady got a sinking feeling in her stomach. It was the same feeling that she got when the wild cats in the savannah were about to fight to establish dominance, and she was sure that was some approximation of what was about to happen right in front of her. Gretchen and Karen didn’t seem worried, but Cady also thought that this was probably something that happened often with Regina.

“Hey Janis, cute shoes!” Regina called out. Janis stopped in her tracks and turned back. A sardonic smile curved on her mouth and she started to make her way over.

“Hi Regina. Are you feeling okay? Your hair looks a little… weird,” she said, gesturing at her own. 

Regina didn’t look too concerned but deftly pulled a mirror out of her purse to check. Janis grinned, her thickly-lined eyes crinkling in amusement. Cady didn’t want to be a part of any of this, so she backed away slowly. When the lions started fighting, every other animal knew it was best to stay away. 

Regina turned to glare at Janis when her once-over proved that her $10,000 hair was perfectly in order, and snapped her mirror shut before throwing it back in her purse. She opened her mouth to make some sort of retort, but Janis got into her space before she could say anything, and Cady’s jaw dropped as Janis leaned in and kissed her. 

Cady expected Regina to pull back, and say… _something_. But she didn’t. In fact, Regina leaned into the kiss, grabbing Janis’ hips. Cady looked around and wondered if she was dreaming. No way was this happening. She could admit that her parents were right when they said that she needed socializing, but she thought she could at least pick up on _some_ social cues. Janis had called Regina a selfish, back-stabbing, slut-faced hoe-bag! 

“I’m just kidding, babe,” Janis said as she leaned back to breathe, and Regina smiled at her. Cady noticed that her smile was different from all the other ones she’d freely given out at school. It seemed more honest or something. But then Janis ruffled the top of her head, messing up the perfection that she had just inspected in the mirror, and Regina quickly went back to scowling at her. 

“Janis!” She hissed. She ripped the mirror out of her purse again and quickly started smoothing down the errant blonde hairs that had suffered Janis’ attack. “God, just because you’re a total lesbo doesn’t mean you can act like some frat bro douche.”

Janis put her arms around Regina from behind and started nuzzling her neck, and Regina tried (not very hard) to shuck her off so she would stop messing up her hair even more. “Awe, baby, that almost sounded like poetry.”

Regina rolled her eyes in distaste. Cady couldn’t tell if it was because of the idea that she could be composing poetry, or from the fact that Janis was probably wrinkling her sweater. It was most likely a mix of both. “Ugh, you’re so weird,” she said, almost… fondly? 

Janis started whispering in Regina’s ear, something about how weird she could get, and Cady quickly turned to Gretchen and Karen for help, but they didn’t seem fazed. They were still talking about Jason as if none of this total strangeness was happening. Karen looked at Cady and noticed the confusion on her face. 

“Do they have lesbians in Africa?” She asked with wide eyes. 

“Oh my god, Karen,” Gretchen huffed. 

At this, Regina and Janis looked up, finally seeming to remember that they were in public. Janis noticed Cady standing there for the first time and her eyes widened, completely caught. 

“Well,” Regina said, finishing whatever conversation they had been having. “ _I_ wasn’t kidding about the shoes.” Cady was even more confused, didn’t Regina say they were cute? She was looking at Janis’ orange apron with disgust as well. Janis just laughed and kissed her nose before starting to quickly move away. 

“I’ll change them when you change your personality,” she said, grinning. Regina sneered at her, but Janis just laughed again. “See you later. Bye Cady!” She called before jetting off. 

Regina looked to Cady, Gretchen, and Karen as if Janis had never been there, and since no one said otherwise, Cady stayed quiet. “Let’s go to my house,” she said, walking off without another word. 

“Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks,” Gretchen whispered as soon as Regina was out of earshot. Cady nodded, but a thousand questions were brimming in her mind. She had to find Janis as soon as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! this is super short, but it's my first fanfiction since like, middle school when i still wrote them like scripts because i didn't know how to write. like, at all. anyway, like i said, i'm not really into mean girls, but i Am into mean lesbians, so this happened. i just think the movie would've been better if everything was the same, but janis and regina were together. just because i'm gay and mean and i say so. i hope you enjoyed! please leave comments (or corrections, this wasn't betaed or anything), i live for attention!


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